When I got the email from my webhost saying that I needed to CRITICALLY UPDATE MY PLUGS IN, I knew it was going to be a pain in the tukhus, but I didn’t know how much.
I tested on some other subdomains I own, and it went off largely without a hitch, I assume because I used really basic WordPress themes for them. I saved HBM for last, watched the progress bar end, loaded the page, and instantly felt sick. In my haste, I assumed that WordPress had been exploded, which meant every blog I’d written for the past 10 years (a little less, since I “blogged” at first without any software, and those have been lost since I installed Greymatter in 2004). I hopped on tech support chat, and the light at the end of the tunnel was that my blogs still existed SOMEWHERE but they didn’t know what happened and they couldn’t help me. Oh, and there existed no backups of the site.
I didn’t want to bug my friend Gregory, since we hadn’t spoken in a while, but that’s only because he now lives off the grid, like some techno ninja, leaving no footprint behind. How can you tweet @ a man who doesn’t exist?
Luckily, I guess I don’t care about bugging people, so I texted him, and he’s been hard at work redoing the code so my little website can be back up for the 3 people and 10 bots who visit every month. And I should probably find a friend in my own timezone who can help me with such things.
Anyway, I thought I’d pop in to explain what was wrong, since I get a weird urge to update ONLY when my site is completely broken and ugly.
Thanks for your help, Gregory, with whom I can only communicate via texts and blogs. Wait, isn’t that the intro to Jumpin’ Jack Flash the 1986 spy comedy starring Whoopi Goldberg?