We’re boiling our hands!!

Some new things I just realized I hate:
-People who wear “Vote for Pedro” shirts.
-Any montage in movies or television wherein the person must workout and bulk up, and they end up running up stairs of some capital building in a jogging suit.
-Natalie Teeger.
-Mitch Hedberg. Sorry, I’m not into drugs. I’m Lauren, man, not Bob Dylan.
Dad: Lauren, do you even know who Bob Dylan is?
Lauren: No. But I know he died of drugs.
Dad: Lauren, Bob Dylan’s alive and well. I produced his last 3 albums.
Lauren: Oh, you mean Uncle Robert?
Dad: Yeah.
Lauren: Oh, he didn’t die of drugs.
Things I just realized I love:
-Purposely saying nonsense words to the automated help lines so they just give up and connect me with an agent. Sometimes I just make a loud sneeze noise!
-The TV show “Home Movies.” H. Jon Benjamin, you’ve finally found a way to fill the Dr. Katz-shaped hole in my heart.
-Knitting is fucking METAL.
-Cooking! I’m such a good little wife.
-http://gorillamask.net/ Where have you been all my life?
-The IRS. Thanks for the refund, CHUMPS! AHAHAHA!

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