Wake from your sleep
The drowning of your tears

Well, kids…the countdown of my daylight job is…counting down.
On the night of Saturday, May 1st, I will have to sleep all day (gee, how will I pull THAT off) so’s I can start my job on Sunday, May 2nd at 11 P.M.
Have I gone insane?
Probably. I’m both terrified and excited.
I’ve never been like…paid to stay up all night.
I mean, it’ll be so weird coming to work when people are going to bed.
And when I leave work, instead of it being all dark and depressing out, it’ll be a brand new day!
Fuck, I’ll get to see what 7 A.M. looks like!
And I’ll be explaiming, “Man, it’s sure good to be done with work now, being that it’s 7 in the morning!”
I guess that’s pretty awesome.
I mean, when I worked at Eat N Park, it used to suck, because I’d sleep until my shift started (or five minutes after it was supposed to) and I’d roll in, do my shit, then leave as the sun was setting to screw around on the internet for 800 hours, all the while pissing and moaning about how nothing was open for people who stay up late.
My dining options were basically Denny’s, which is Eat N Park Big N Tall, and…Eat N Park. My shopping options for anything from groceries to DVDs to underwear was…Wal-Mart.
Now, I have a whole day ahead of me.
See, with this whole comedy thing, it seems I’m going to have to wake up, do comedy, and go to work.
Which is so ridiculous to think of, I can barely keep my eyes from crossing and falling out onto the floor.
Beats the fuck out of waking up at 6 to get to work at 7 and leave at 3.
I think.
Right, guys?
Well, time will only tell.
Time will only tell.

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