Vote Yes on Prop STFU

Prop STFU will make it illegal for voters of both parties to blabber endless political rhetoric via Facebook status, blogs, and Twitter, and generally stop pissing Lauren off so much. I don’t care who you voted for. I don’t care why you feel the need to tell everyone. I wish you would STFU.
You, kid. Yes, the one I added to my Facebook because I was your camp counselor 5 years ago. You’re 13 damn years old. I seriously don’t care WHAT you’re afraid America will do. If it were up to you, the damn Red Ranger would be on the ballot, so kindly STFU.
Our children are our future, yes, but children are also very stupid. I should know. I was a child once, and there was maybe a week or so where I was also very stupid. Maybe 1% of them can actually slog through nonpartisan rhetoric and make their own decisions based on the best possible outcome for all the children of the world, but I’m wagering the other 99% are going with what their parents have told them, or what Mr. Jokey Celebrity told them, or who looks most like grandpa or a rapper. Just STFU.
The greatest thing about this country is our ability to make our own decisions as citizens, and most of you people are making me wish I lived in communist Russia, where candidates vote for YOU. I’m tired of your petty fights via status updates. I’m tired of you taking a stand because you think it’s the cool one, and then feeling smug that your zinger made you a cooler person by proxy. I am SO tired of you threatening to move to Canada. BOTH parties. I have named both my fists “Canada” for the next time I hear someone say they want to go there.
You bragging about who you voted for and how scared you are if the other guy wins just reeks of a sophomoric agenda that you’re out to get everyone else to like you. I don’t have a problem with sitting down and discussing your opinions with friends or willing listeners, because then you will actually be questioned and participate in intellectual discussion, and it will look like you didn’t just ask Chett McJockstein which political party would he rather date, and went with that one.
People are stupid. Families and friends are stupid. People who walk into a soiree and make fun of an entire political party without first making sure one other person in the room shares their beliefs? Oh, you’d better believe they’re stupid.
This year, do your research. Go against what family members are doing. Make decisions independently of your friends. Listen to their opinions, but factor them ALL into the equation, read between the lines, and make the best decision for YOU.
You hold the key to our future, so don’t fuck it up! And don’t tell me about it unless I ask you! (I won’t.)

Comments are closed.