Um. Hi.

That you’re even here reading this at all is a testament to bookmarks across the globe.
Hi, I’m America Lauren. Not to be confused with Japan Lauren, confident foreigner, world traveler, and woman about town. And certainly not to be confused with Old Lauren, who did indeed live in the same place as America Lauren, but never left the house, had maybe 3 friends, and spent her 27th birthday drinking Jager alone while watching “Forensic Files.” Well, America Lauren still watches Forensic Files, but only because she secretly wants to be a detective.
America Lauren has the same low self esteem as the previous two Laurens, and actually all Laurens through the ages, save for possibly 3rd Grade Lauren, who was so enamored of a certain 5th grade Dylan E., she got three of her friends to grab him, bind his arms, and perform a marriage ceremony on the steps of her elementary school building at recess. That was history’s last known Self-Assured Lauren.
America Lauren was sad for about a month, leaving behind a group of people with whom she never thought it was possible to feel such a connection. This would have made for very boring and maudlin blog entries, so you can understand why they may have been omitted. No one wants to hear that crap.
She was, however, surrounded with a new group of friends, led by her BFF Melissa, who had not, in fact, forgotten she existed, and in fact, reminded her almost every day for a week how glad she was that Lauren was back. That was nice. I should have blogged about that. “Day 4 back in America. Melissa told me again how awesome I am!” No, I guess no one wants to hear that crap, either. That’s for the personal super secret blog that’s written on old-fashioned notebook paper.
America Lauren does not have a job. She applies for them almost every day. But this is part of life in this town, and it’s not getting her down. Much.
America Lauren is eating healthy and working out. She goes out to see shows, and signed up for two classes to take up her free time (of which there is a lot). America Lauren plays Grand Theft Auto 4, and is really, really good at killing people.
America Lauren has finally broken that awkward seal (and even sufficiently detached herself by annoyingly referring to herself the entire time in the third person), and now we can get back to our regularly scheduled barrage of postings.
I won’t have as much insight into the human condition of being an outsider living in a wacky land. I won’t have daily updates on what my wacky Japanese co-worker tried to say to me at lunch. I won’t have pages of pictures of strange Engrish or trips to temples.
But I’m still me, and the pact made to myself that I will stay the super awesome person I grew into over the past year will also benefit YOU, my dear loyal blog readers.
So yeah. America Lauren out.

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