Apparently, the Boy Scouts don’t have a badge for not being a fucking idiot.
Did you people read the story about the kid who got lost in the woods on a Boy Scouts trip and was lost for four days? People were searching and searching and they thought he was dead, and finally, they found him! And he told him that he had been hiding from the search squad because they were strangers!
Um, hello, Darwin? Can we please kill this kid?
We don’t need any more moron genes in the pool, especially in Utah.
Why did he eat the food and drink the water he was given, then?
Maybe that Aruba girl’s not really missing, either, she’s just HIDING from everyone on the damn island because some cartoon bear once told her not to talk to strangers. Oddly enough, he also told her it was jim dandy to get plastered with them and have them hold you up while you stumble back to your hotel.
I guess in this day and age with kids being abducted every time I click on (maybe I should stop doing that. You know, for the kids.), you can’t really be too careful, but I think a wee bit of common sense and, you know, starVATION might trump that whole thing.
“What’s that, Wally the Drifter? Why, yes, I’m lost in the woods. No, I wouldn’t mind if you abducted and then raped and killed me so long as I could have a Snickers bar.”
Then Wally the Drifter would say, “Not going anywhere for a while?”
And then would both share a hearty laugh and commence with the raping.

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