These aren’t the droids you’re looking for.

Here are the points I wish to make.
— Well…KOTOR wants to go on a break.
Or so he SAID! The minute I turned my back, he was making out with my GameCube! Little does he know he’s too big for her. He’ll never fit inside.
I apparently don’t have enough hertzes in my ROM, nor is my Video Card OpenGL enough.
Oh, YEAH, so THAT’S why I stopped buying computer games 15 years ago!
I am working on accumulating said products without having to reformat for the THIRD time in six fucking months.
— Going to a dance club when you think your sprained ankle has healed is not a good idea. It’s not healed.
Then it will swell up all big and won’t let you sit indian-style.
— When will I learn that if I want to give myself a break on the weekend, “sleeping until I’m not tired anymore” is a time that will never come, and I’m just wasting time I could be…well, I guess I don’t have anything better to do. I’m going to go take a nap!
— I hate, I HATE, I HATE Peter Pan!
I mean, blogs wherein the user thinks that she needs to omit subjects from every sentence.
“Came home today. Abused the English Language. Think Bridget Jones’ Diary is a good book. Will piss off Lauren shortly.”
— If you think popcorn and Reece’s Pieces is not breakfast, you are wrong, good sir.
— I forgot to say about a month ago that some delightful user sent me Casablanca off my wishlist. I kept his address as a way to thank him, but it is now lost.
Please email me, so I can thank you personally.
— I was also supposed to inform you during camp that this year’s underaged crush was Calvin Moneypenny.
I have a crush on one of the young lads at my camp every year — I like ’em young! — and since Joey is of age this year, it was a tough decision with the likes of hottie italian AJ and sexy Polish (have those words ever been used together?) Addam.
But it came down to the $¢, so there you go.
Please don’t send the police to my house.
— To everyone ever: If the person you’re IMing doesn’t respond back within one millisecond of your query, it doesn’t mean that person hates you forever.
However, the next time I get a —
SadLoser: (9:25:01 PM) Hey! How’s it going?
SadLoser: (9:25:02 PM) WHY DO YOU HATE ME? Is it because I smell? It’s because I smell, isn’t it? WHY ARE YOU SO SHALLOW?! Wah-ah-ah! Fine then, be mad at me, see if I care.
— message, I WILL hate you forever.
— I sometimes have boring updates.
If I haven’t made you read this yet, do it now, and pretend it was my update.

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