Statesmanship is more than entertaining peasants

Well, I got to work early today so I could get out early, but I have arrived only to find there is no work for me to do, and will be none for another twenty minutes until the night supervisor gets here.
Last night was my first night, and it was hell.
It was like those nights in college spent dreaming of a soft, comfy bed and that empty fake-energy feeling caused by drinking too much Mountain Dew in pathetic vain.
Today wasn’t as fucked up as it should be — or at least — as everyone keeps telling me it should be.
I went to be at 8 — Okay, same as college, and most of my days working at Eat N Park, yeah? So?
Woke up at 5, sure. Did some laundry, bought some food, went to do comedy, came to work.
It wasn’t all that strange. Maybe it will be.
Well, I should say, I was supposed to do comedy — no one showed up. Not one person. Luckily, it was at a place where I’d won a contest before, so I had a $30 gift certificate.
I bought some nachos and a salad to eat as my “lunch”, and I went to pay and, assumably, get my change in the form of a gift certificate, but no.
The guy tells me I have to spend it all right there.
The fuck?
So, I’m asking random strangers if they want some free food — trying to ask for my remaining change to be spent in the form of a gift certificate back to me — anything I can.
Finally, I just decided to buy a shitload of cheesecakes, since anything else on their menu was perishable.
So now I have A Shitload of Cheesecake.
If you want some, come to my company, because along with my Caesar salad, it’s my lunch.
I’ll be here trying to get used to my fucking ergonomic keyboard.
G and H, you used tp be such good friends… *sniff*

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