Sick…as a dog

So, I opened myself up to months of sorting out health insurance problems by going to my old home doctor under my new insurance. They said it would be fine, but that is their favorite lie.
I didn’t go to camp today, which sucks, but I didn’t want to be a disease vector for all the innocent kids.
The nurse at my doctor’s office asked me if I had been anywhere where I might have caught something contageous. Well, that’s kind of a stupid question.
I could have caught it anywhere. I was just on a plane. I saw my best friend’s nephew, and he had the sniffles. I touch doors to open them. What kind of question is that? What, do they usually only treat agoraphobics?
Is she asking if I root through the trash and lick all the dirty McDonald’s cups? No. Do I open public restroom doors with my teeth? Not recently.
Ah, well. I’m getting back into bed. I’m pushing on my sinus cavities, and it’s making a gurgling noise no one’s face should make. Drink your orange juice, everyone!

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