Robots, stay away

You ever have one of those weekends where nothing seems to go right? I feel like I’m some Technological King Midas, except instead of gold, everything I touch turns to broken.
My PS2 is broken. It started going about a year ago, when it hilariously decided to only play games half the time, and that half was usually right when you were furthest from a save point at the most crucial part of the game.
It was also my primary DVD player, and even that part started going a few months ago.
So I bought the DVD adapter on my Xbox, even though I was viciously against purchasing a $20 peripheral just to get the already-existing DVD function to be enabled. Whatever. I guess $20 is less than a real DVD player. You win again, Microsoft.
Justin attempted to fix my PS2 with that laser-straightening tutorial floating around the internet, and I believe it worked for perhaps 24 hours after that.
Well, about a month ago, my Xbox started flashing an “Error 07 Call technical support” message instead of the “Hello, here is your game or DVD, please play or watch it, as you have shelled out hundreds of dollars to do just that” message I have gotten used to seeing. A little footwork around the internet has informed me that the particular 07 error is some kind of serious hard drive malfunction that can’t be fixed without selling Bill Gates your kidney.
Then my laptop has been getting slower and slower each day, and I can’t seem to locate the culprit. I have run every ad-destroyer and Windows cleaner/fixer software in the world, and all they have done are inform me how many things I have installed that are not viruses or adware at all.
I’ll run the search for three hours, and it will come back to me reporting: “Good news, we have found 2 viruses on your computer! One is something called a “Fire fox” and the other is a humorous picture of your cat, Scamp. Should we quarantine these evil viruses and delete them forever?!”
I tried to ignore it, but it’s gotten so bad that I can actually click on another tab in my firefox window, and then go and make a sandwich before the thing actually decides to open. I actually started writing this sentence last Thursday, and, well, here we are.
So, you can imagine my frustration, when I just want to watch a frigging DVD before going to bed, and not one, not two, but all three of my available DVD players are broken. Yeah, I tried watching it on my laptop, but it was sort of like being at some lame rave that flashes 1 frame of a Buffy episode every couple seconds instead of using a strobe light. Only somehow less fun.
So I guess I’ll go read a book before bed, but I have the sneaking suspicion that it will burst into flames or something the minute I open it.

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