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BLT Bites -- About an hour

1 lb. bacon
½ cup finely chopped green onion
½ cup mayonnaise
24 cherry tomatoes

Who doesn't love a good BLT? No one, that's who.
But if you sashay around your dinner party with a platter full of BLT sandwiches, you might as well hope someone in the next trailer park over has something classier, because your guests deserve better.

What we have here is all the deliciousness of a BLT sandwich, without all the modern day fuss of bread or lettuce or having accurate acronyms.

First, you're going to fry your bacon until it's well done.
PUT that slice back, you sneak!
Your guests will thank you when their every bite is bursting with bacon.
When it's done cooking, drain the bacon, and crumble it up.

Second, in a refrigerator-safe bowl or dish or hat, add the onions and mayonnaise, and chuck it in the refrigerator for a couple hours.
If you don't like onions, or you're really anal about acronyms being correct, I suppose you can substitute lettuce. And if you don't like mayonnaise, sure, you can substitute Miracle Whip or mustard or hot sauce, but if you're so freaking picky about substitutions, why don't you substitute the onion for scrambled eggs, the mayonnaise for toast, and the tomatoes for hash browns, and have a whole different meal!
Feel free to then substitute this cookbook for a Harry Potter book!
And substitute you for a jerk!

I'm sorry. That was uncalled for. Hopefully it took you a couple hours to recuperate from that unfounded attack, and you're back and ready to finish the recipe!

Next, wash the tomatoes. You don't know where they've been.
Slice off a thin portion from the tomato bottoms, so they don't roll right off the platter and all over town. Plus that little dot thing on the bottom is sort of gross anyway.

Slice off the top as well and use a mellonballer or tiny spoon or telekinetic powers to remove seeds and tomato goo inside. Turn the disemboweled tomatoes (who's ready to eat?!) upside-down and drain on a paper towel.

When that mayonnaise mix has refrigerated for at least a reasonable amount of time, (the more time left in, the more the ingredients' taste comes out) scoop the mix into the tomatoes.

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