Painting a picture, composing an opera, that’s just something you do until you find the next willing piece of ass. The minute something better than sex comes along, you call me.
Have me paged.

So, completely hypothetically speaking here, how bad do you think eating nail polish remover is?
See, well, I was removing some nail polish earlier today, and well… I sort of lost track of the time, and I realized that I was late for the movie my family was seeing, so we ran out the door and bought popcorn, and it was really buttery and delicious until I noticed that it sort of tasted funny. And by “funny”, I mean “exactly like nail polish remover”, only I was sort of into the movie, and the popcorn was like, really good, so I kept eating.
I’m just saying is all.
Popcorn’s good.
So, I hope everyone had a splendiferous non religious winter holiday.
I did have a Christmas Eve post all written, but my computer exploded as soon as I clicked “post” and damned if I was gonna type all that comedy gold out again.
So many innocent jokes’ lives were lost.
It really is a shame that I have such an asstastic short-term memory.
I got pretty much every CD and DVD I wanted, which just tells me that I should have asked my parents for more CDs and DVDs.
I didn’t get two things I really wanted: a ski pass and Tivo, but my mom gave me a check to cover them.
Which sucks, because of COURSE I’m not going to use the check for that, I’m going to use it for practical things like my car payment and phone bill and a futon for my new apartment. I’ll buy Tivo when I can afford it.
Which means I will never have Tivo.
Ooh, I did get a tasty iPod from my parents, a fucking 40 gig one that holds what, like 10,000 songs?! Shit man, I don’t have ten thousand songs. I don’t think I’ve even heard a total of ten thousand songs in my life.
Ah well, it’ll be fun.
Uh, I guess that’s about it. Boo, Christmas is over.
Man, is life going entirely too fast for anyone else?

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