I am a vertiable tapestry of raging judgements and insane assumptions.
As such, I thought it might be amusing to compile a list of how I feel about things.
Because you know you all want to read it and see if you agree with the ever opinionated jerk who runs this site.
So, here we go.


Frank Sinatra
Grammar
Macintosh
Magnolia
Republicans and Democrats
Wishlists





Frank Sinatra
Do you know what this world needs? Another Frank Sinatra to come along and save us all. That guy can fuckin' sing. He is the definition of cool. Why? Because he hates you. Don't watch his movies? He doesn't care. "Fuck you!" Frank says. Fuck with him? He'll take out a contract on your life.
Why don't we bring back the entire rat pack? Dean Martin, Sammy Davis Junior, the whole gang.
And the movies? They're not some Crossroads/A Walk to Remember bullshit. That shit was on the level.





Grammar
Well, if you haven't noticed by now, I'm a complete grammar Nazi. I may not spell very well, but that's only because I write these pages out in Notepad which doesn't have spellcheck. But there's a reason we fucking learned grammar in fourth grade. It's so we don't look like complete morons. People don't care enough to learn the rules, and it adds to my hatred of the human race. As an English Major and older sister of an illiterate frat boy, I'm always proofreading essays, and I seriously don't know how some of you are going to make it out there.
Once and for all:
Their=Possessive, They're=They are, There is a place.
Its=Possessive, It's=It is
Your=Possessive, You're=You are
Irony is different from coincidence.
Saying "ur", "lol", "wtf", "imho", "sp?" and the like makes you look like a seven year old.
That is all. For now...




Macintosh
Once upon a time, I had a Mac. I was one of the last in my high school to hang on, actually. I loved them. I could use a word processer, write my emails, and use Netscape like every other normal person. One day, I learned there was more to life than that.
There were games that I didn't have to wait months and months for after their release to PCs. There were cracks of very expensive software. There were versions of software that everyone else had, instead of waiting for some crappy version of "MacAmp" which froze my computer after every track. There were CD burners that my school knew how to fucking install and didn't end up making every CD sound like squirrels were loose inside my stereo. You could send papers to teachers without looking like a retard who accidentally put Os with tildas over them instead of using the apostrophe key.
Yes, I am very bitter. My life is much better now.
Granted, no one bothers to make viruses for Mac users anymore, and yes, I still say "Open Apple..." instead of "Control", but my life is happier now, no matter how blue and see through your Mac is.
Yada yada, better graphics, yada yada, film editing, whine whine whine, I said it all myself once.
Once.




Magnolia
I consider myself a bit of a "film buff". This is completely regardless of the fact that I have what is described as the worst taste in movies of any person ever. "Real" film buffs are always smacking their brows and stuttering incredulously a la Quentin Tarantino or Woody Allen when I tell them that Rushmore was the most boring, insipid piece of pseudo artsy film crap since I don't know what. Or that if I ever saw Martin "Look at me, I can make long pointless movies about every era of New York because I'm an auteur" Scorsese bleeding on the street, I don't think I would stop and help him, if not for the sole reason that I had to sit through Age of Innocence.
Anyway, what were we talking about? Oh yeah. Magnolia sucks, too. Big time.
Hey, P.T. Anderson, if you have so much money left over from Boogie Nights, why don't you buy yourself an editor. Yeah... If I want to sit around and watch a bunch of people with boring lives and no unifying plot for three fucking hours, I can stare at my friends.
This is why some people get a producer who is not themselves.




Republicans and Democrats
Uggh... When I tell my friends at school I'm a republican, they look at me like I've just beaten up a homeless person.
When I tell my friends at home I'm a democrat, they look at me like I've just stolen their wallet and killed their unborn children.
I refuse to be an independant, because Ralph Nader looks like a rapist.
So I'm tired of it all.
There are some beliefs I will always have. I will always be Pro-Choice, because people are gonna do it whether you bomb their asses or not, and if one more weepy eyed Pro-Life person on campus comes up to me with a picture of a fetus I'm gonna arrange a 72nd trimester abortion with their mom. I will always believe in the Death Penalty, because I don't want Jimmy Hacksaw the admitted murderer of all 21-year-old, dyed-blond hair, green-eyed girls who like anime a lot to be wandering around on the street because he got off for good behavior (only sodomizing three people that day). I love gay people. And finally, I am a raging capitalist, because I've worked hard in my life, and will continue to do so, and I think I should keep what I earn.




Wishlists
Wishlists are amazing. Don't tell me they're a form of selling out. Don't tell me you only put yours on your site "because you think it's interesting for people to see what you like."
And, on the otherhand, don't tell me "I'd better buy something" or "You can't believe no one's bought you anything."
Like anything else nice and unselfish in life -- a compliment, praise, a small unmotivated gift -- these things are given when deserved and when lucky. It just guarantees you'll get something you want.
I love these fucking things.