My land’s only borders lie around my heart

Okay, this is sort of an emergency post.
I figured… I’ve been asking a lot of my friends to come see the contests.
They’re very nice to oblige, but you can only ask so many favors.
But a lot of them will be there tonight, and I think I know what my friends think is funny.
Also, the other finalists will be bringing youngish friends, so I think I can get away with some things that an older crowd might not get.
BUT… I was up very very late last night debating with myself as to whether I should whip out this joke I’ve never ever tried in front of an audience.
A fool’s query, yes. I know. I probably shouldn’t try untested material in a contest, ESPECIALLY as a closer, but listen.
I’ll either win, or I won’t. I was fairly certain I’d make it this far, but I needed my friends and when they came through for me, it was great. My goal was to MAKE it to the finals, and even though I was fairly certain, a lot of it was just dumb luck and now that I’m actually here, I think I surprised myself.
I’m fairly certain I’ll do a lot of things that never actually happen, and now that one has, I’m not sure what to do with it.
SO. The reason this has to be a closer is that nothing can come after it. Long story, you’ll see on the tape, but I need to ask you all one thing…
Do you know what this is called?

The article of clothing, asshole, not the crazy asian kid.
If you know what this is, then we have no problems. Maybe I can save myself with some quick goat thinking onstage, but the understanding of what this article is called is imperative.
Comment and let me know.

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