Is this fucking shit on Lauren week?
Check out this shit.
Last Sunday, I was minding my own business, waiting on some tables, when a friend and his sister came in to eat. They didn’t sit in my section, so I went over to say What’s Up, and generally catch up. The sister goes to school at BC, so I was talking college talk and what not, when the brother mentioned he had a joke for me to tell in my stand up act.
I tried to keep my eyes from rolling right out of my head and onto the ground as I forced a “Sure, let’s hear it…”
He told me this joke, and I literally busted out laughing.
“Did you get that from someone?” I asked him.
“No, I made it up. But you can use it, I won’t tell.”
I said “Shit, no, buddy, you’re coming down to the Funny Bone and saying it yourself! Hah! Jessie, come here and hear this.”
So he said it again.
We all shared a moment, and I told him he’d better write more material, because he’s going up on stage. It was honestly the first time a “Civ”, as I like to call them, has told me something funny enough to actually use on stage. (Or, if you’re Matt Little, a “sieve”)
Five minutes later, and about ten minutes since they’d gotten there, I see my friends stand up and walk out the door without saying goodbye, or getting their food, or paying for it.
Jessie informs me that a woman near her section is having a shit fit, and asking to see a manager.
The manager talks her talk and the woman is subdued, then comes back to have a talk with me.
“That lady was offended by that joke,” she told me. “And appalled that something like that would happen at Eat N Park.”
“Okay,” I said.
I find out later that the lady and her husband bitched out my friends, and they got up and left, because they’re just kids, but ultimately thinking that it was really none of her business.
Skip forward to tonight, where the offended lady has called the PRESIDENT OF OUR COMPANY and threatened him.
So I was written up.
Let’s go over this.
I was written up FOR LAUGHING AT A JOKE.
I feel like Lenny Fucking Bruce, I want to stomp around shouting this joke out every second that I’m not at work. I want to call that lady up every hour and tell it to her again in various voices.
For reasons of not wanting it to escalate into anything worse than it already is, I won’t post it here, but suffice it to say that it was funny, and if the kid doesn’t mind, I WILL say it on stage.
To my managers, I say BRING IT.
I fucking LAUGHED. Do you know how many fucking racist, sexual harrassment, fucking demeaning to the very core of my being comments I’ve put UP with from customers since I started working there?
At least this one was FUNNY.
Ho ho HO, I can’t WAIT to see if they do anything.
Man. I wanted to post something else, but I’m too mad.
Justin, I’ll talk about you tomorrow, okay?
Justin’s this kid I know.