Letters to People Unlikely to Respond 2

Dear Old Man I Passed On My Bike,
Hello! I’m really sorry that I almost ran you off the road. You have every right to use the same space I do, and I realize we have to “Share The Sidewalk” as non-car-using brethren.
I just want to explain to you WHY I came so close to running you down. Tonight was my first night, after 7 months of trying, that I was finally able to bike without touching my handlebars. AND I didn’t even need to hold them out at my sides like a tightrope walker from the ’30s.
I finally perfected balancing my weight, and I can hang my hands limply at my sides, as if to say, “What? I’m just sitting here, relaxing on my bike.” I think we can both agree that only n00bs need to steer.
So, you see, I was challenging myself to see how long I could go without touching my handlebars, and I had just topped my previous record by keeping my balance for an entire street block AND while going over a speed bump. I’m sure you understand that personal safety and the safety of others come second to this Bike Challenge I had just mastered.
I’m just glad you weren’t there 5 blocks ago when I was swerving my bike to the beat of the song playing on my iPod, or Bike Dancing, as I like to call it.

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