How about the power of flight? That do anything for ya?

Happy Daylight Savings, everyone.
Every year, I try and do something awesome in that extra hour; something you wouldn’t ordinarily do.
Ever since that Pete & Pete (i told u i was hardcore) where Pete rode his bike across state lines to try and get TWO extra freedom hours to do something awesome, I’ve tried to do the same, and I encourage everyone around me to do so as well.
I took advantage of my hour a bit early, by getting up enough balls to a) confront someone about a wrongdoing in the past and try to make amends and b) get out of a date with a guy that I was NOT looking forward to AT ALL, when it finally occured to me… “Why am I doing this? Who am I pleasing? The girl who set us up? What does she possibly care?” And as the good Porkfry has told me and I’ve finally come to realize… I don’t want to do things out of obligation anymore.
Okay? It’s Me time, baby. I live by my own rules.
So, instead, I took a relaxing evening and tried to write some jokes in my friendly neighborhood open-late restaurant, but got side-tracked because Christian the Server was bored and kept sitting at my table and making small talk.
I wasn’t being very funny anyway, so it was cool. He was an interesting enough guy, and he gave me all this free stuff, even though I’m trying to watch the weight (I want a small, a SMALL chocolate shake).
He was very friendly and he told me he was very glad to get “chill” customers.
Since when was chill an adjective? Why, back in MY day, “chill” was an insulting command. But to this young buck, I can only assume it was complimentary.
He also suggested that since I clearly don’t ever sleep, I should hang out with him when his shift is over, and that he “had something for me” that would “help me to think things were funny” and also “get the munchies”. Oh, “kids” and their “reefer”.
I politely declined, and continued writing some unfunny jokes.
What else, what else…
Well, as tends to happen in my life, I seem to be going through a new obsession.
Eminem is SO yesterday’s news, I now want to bear children for Jack Black.
Oh, Jack. Ugh, remember when everybody asked me why I date fatties and drug addicts? Well, they did. Anyway, it’s because I’m strangely attracted to senses of humor, and the stronger it is, the more it trumps tiny things like having only one eyebrow or being forty pounds overweight, oh you sexy sexy thing, Jack.
So yes, if you’re not a big Tenacious D fan, then you haven’t been “getting” many of my recent subjects or odd parentheticals, just understand that it’s referring to something far more hilarious than you could ever comprehend.
Well, off to bed. Big day tomorrow. Scary. But big.

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