- List of websites that people still visit despite the irresponsible lack of updates
- Maddox – Skillions of people continue to visit his website everyday, even though he barely keeps up an updating schedule of once per month. Why people don’t complain: he will kill you with his bare gifs.
- Sturge – Arguably the only diaryland page worth reading, Sturge only makes updates when he can drag himself up to his keyboard from a drunken stupor on the ground. Why people don’t complain: wait, does anyone go here but me?
- Jim Norton – Hates his blog so much, he actually complains about it on XM radio. Why people don’t complain: they’re worried he might piss on them.
- Strong Bad – Okay, okay, so we don’t all have to put in the time and effort it takes to put together one of these, and yes, there are other aspects of the site to take into consideration (for no reason, because no one goes there anyway), but come on. I need scathing grammatical comentary once a WEEK, damnit! Why people don’t complain: Fear of Strong Mad?
- The Editing Room – Okay, so I can’t really say much, since he updated thrice in the last month, but it was after a three-month hiatus. Why people don’t complain: Because Rod will turn your complaint into a tounge-in-cheek social commentary that is both pithy, accurate, and hilarious.
- List of websites that update a ridiculous amount of times within any given period
- Dooce – I believe she continued blogging as she was going through labor. I have reason also to believe that she continually refreshed her comments page in order to recieve Lamaze instructions from helpful fans.
- Emma – Save for family holidays, theses, or particularly addictive video games, Emma updates not only her blog without fail, but also her interesting links on the sidebar. My hat goes off to you, good nerd.
- Something Awful – Despite having near-incomprehensible articles (unless written by the delightful Spokker Jones, or Ben “Greasnin” Platt (where have you gone?!)), the sidebar always contains interesting Weekend Webs, PhotoShop Phridays, and Comedy Goldmines.
- eBay – I mean, come ON, people. This site updates all the damn TIME. It’s too daunting, I just can’t compete.
All right, all right, I’m not dead.
I have company from out of town, and it’s sort of rude to sneak away and try to make poignant updates when you’re trying to be a good host. I promise I’m still here, and I’m thinking of you so much that you’ve crept into my sub-conscious, and when I had a dream the other night about being hit in the face with a bowling ball, my first dream-thought was not the years of reconstructive surgery, but rather, “Sweet! now they really can’t be pissed off if I don’t update! I got hit in the face with a fucking *bowling ball*!”
Until next time.
Or slightly after I do actually get hit in the face by a bowling ball.