For the rest of us

So, yesterday my company celebrated Festivus.
How fucking cool is MY company?
Who celebrates Festivus?
All these people brought in ALL this food, and the whole company basically ate all day long.
A lot of the stuffed shirts didn’t know what Festvus was (don’t we work for a TELEVISION company?), so I challenged my training partner C.J. to a feat of strength, but he declined.
Scared by my massive biceps? Perhaps.
I aired some of my grievances, including sneezing altogether too many times in the little control room they have us holed away in.
I swear it’s some sort of modern-day sneeze box in here.
There wasn’t even a pole to not decorate.
I think perhaps it was just an Easter celebration without all the Jesus business (which I find gets in the way of altogether too many holidays. It’s like, Christmas? Man, just give me the presents.)(Just kidding, Jesus. You know I love you.).
Remember last year when I freaked out, because I couldn’t handle all the drama in my life, and moved to Switzerland for a month?
I should probably do that again soon.

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