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so here I present it to you, as if on a platter for your gluttonous consumption. Mmm... Comedy!
If the stunning likeness and well, NAME right underneath the friggin' picture didn't give me away, then I'm not quite sure what you're still doing here, unless it is to send me some idiotic email informing me that I'm hot, while somehow spelling hot incorrectly. But I digress. This is me. I run this site, I post all the blogs, and I draw all the comics. Poorly. I draw myself with ridiculously large breasts. I make fun of a lot of people, I detest ignorance, but above all else, I hold comedy in the highest regard. Please love me.
When he's not out rapping about smoking blunts and fucking bitches, he's home smoking blunts and fucking bitches. He's been ostracized from the rest of the cute Moogles from the Final Fantasy Series because of his dirty mouth and bad habits, but caught a lucky break from another outcast Moogle, Dre. Anyway, we share a room, and I know deep down, he's a good guy. Deep, deep down.
Yes, he is a real person, he's as real as me and Marshall, so stop asking. He wears that skull shirt and has a lipring, because he is so damn rivet. When he's not out corpse-fucking and doing other mischevious deeds, he hangs out at my house and tries to keep the peace between me and Marshall.
I started drawing the strip when we were dating, so that's why he appears in the early comics, but not so much in the later ones. He can be recognized by his ridiculously large pupils (That's Anime for cute), and his Cloud Strife tuft of hair. Most of the comics are based off of real conversations, including the ones about not thinking my strip was funny at all, thinking I'm a lesbian, and watching girls on trampolines instead of talking to me on the phone. He was a real winner, it's a shame we aren't still dating.
She can be recognized by her long braids, because I lack the ability to actually differentiate facial structures, so I have to simply make people's hair different. She is obsessed with a girl named Meghan, and writes screenplays basing every character off of her. I have met this Meghan and she is a huge bitch. Melissa is only in a couple comics now, but I'm going to be living with her in about half a year, so I can imagine her bitchy antics will stay strong throughout the course of the strip.
He always wears a collared shirt and has wild rockstar hair, so that is how he is drawn. He was never as mean to me as Chris, but he never stopped Chris from pummeling me or sitting on me. Wait, he joined in on the pummeling and sitting. Maybe Sam is a jerk, too! Details at eleven.
He also likes the making fun of Lauren. Um... he also likes sports. There's not much else to say about Chris, he likes alcohol, sports, and beating me up, that's basically it. Damn, I miss this guy.
She's the only female character who has bangs, so that's how you can pick her out of a lineup. She has no concept of how computers work, and as such, she is an Apple User. As it says in the second strip, she refers to closing windows and shutting down as "Saying Goodbye" as in "Okay, how do I say goodbye to this page?" She has never once sent an email attachment without a twenty minute step-by-step explanation from me, and she has sent many. So many, in fact, that my repeated instructions should have set in by now, but NO, she still tries to just FORWARD the emails that say "LOOK AT THIS FUNN-E PIC!!!!" and thousands of friends and sisters of hers wonder forever what the funny picture was.
He calls me whitey and aryan whore, but I make ONE remark on how he should go out to the rice fields and SUDDENLY *I'M* the racist! He likes Final Fantasy and kitties, so we get along very well. He doesn't return my phone calls, so I'm planning to kill him off soon. ...In the strip, I mean.
I draw him in a dumb visor and sports jersey because that is all he wears. He used to date ridiculously underage girls, but he has been dating this one eighteen year old steadily for some time now, but there's still a chance he could go for her little sister. I was very mad at him right in the midst of a surge of creativity, so I decided to draw a comic about him being set on fire to get back at him.
She is my cousin, and she also loves kitties and video games, and thinks I'm hilarious, which is why I keep her around. She can be recognized by her large breasts and freckles. But mostly the breasts.
He basically just consumed tea and strumpets and wore top hats and a monacle. He kept to himself, besides for every now and again, popping his head out to make some stock British remark of incredulousness, like "My word" or "Well, I never!" Yeah, he was a waste of character, but I still felt the need to explain him here.
His name is pronounced "Show", and he carries around a fork, proclaiming that it is all part of his master plan. No, I'm actually not making it up. One time, I was joking about men with big feet, and I said "Hey, Hsiu, you know what they say about guys with big feet..." and he sort of looked slyly at me with a Taiwanese accent and said "Yahh... They run real fast." So everyone in the room sort of looked at each other like he was crazy, then he said "Why you think they never catch bigfoot?" And suddenly, the world made sense. |
