Can’t decide- BRAIN ANEURYSM

Wow, so I had that radio show that I’d alluded to before, and let me just say: Success.
Who’d have thought not preparing for anything would’ve gone so well?
I think I’ll try that with my MC gig. HAHAHAHAHAHA, of course I am joking, I’m likely not going to sleep until then.
Periodically, I’ve peeked inside my notebook to see if any jokes have written themselves, and alas, they have not.
I’ve also periodically checked inside my brain to see if my jokes have been sufficiently memorized, and I’ve found nothing.
Wait, that can’t be right! Oh, right. I wasn’t looking inside my brain, I was looking inside this can of Pringles here. I wish my brain came in Cool Ranch and Spicy Cajun…
So, I got my hairs cut.
Every last one of them. Also colored a delightful shade of blonde. Well, actually they’re just highlighted, because I think some strands are more important than others.
You can all thank Mitch Hedberg for that joke, PS.
PS – This is what part of the alphabet would look like if Q and R were eliminated.
You can thank Mitch for that joke, too.
Actually, if you see Mitch, tell him I want a foursome with him, Jack Black, and David Cross. Why do I always fall for odd-looking comedians? I may never know.
SAY, that gives me a great idea, how’s about this Saturday I just rattle off Mitch, Jack, David, and maybe a splash of Dane Cook, since I know all their routines by heart.
LET’S HAVE SOME YUM YUMS. I’ve made snacks…
Oh, good times.
Well, I should really hit the sack, but first I’d like to impart on you a few bits of info I learned today.
1. Stay away from the South Side of Pittsburgh. There are dangerous people there. Throw some Eminem and Dre into a kettle and simmer. Mix in some Marilyn Manson and a touch of Emo. Top with bits of the White Stripes and garnish with (odd as it may sound) preppy college boys.
This is the South Side.
I wanted to do some shopping, because there are a few stores that are the only stores that sell cool stuff that I want.
2. That previous statement is a lie. Which brings us to rule 2 – never buy Henna from a Hippie in an ex-head shop.
3. When waiting outside, don’t even look at the people on the corner, or they will accost you and ask if “you want to help find missing children” and then you look into their eyes and say “Honestly? No, I don’t, but if I see any, I’ll send them your way” and they will look at you as if they didn’t find that perfect delivery and deadpan expression as hilarious as it actually was.
4. If you must buy Henna from a hippie, don’t let it be a lesbian hippie. Because she will hit on you with stories of how she likes to have “henna applying parties” where she and “the girls” just get together and “draw on each other”.
5. Do not go into the cool looking Gamer/Comic Book Store. First, the friend you are shopping with will realize what a loser you are, and when she asks you what the strange people in the back are doing with all those tables laid out, and you explain the card game they’re playing with a little too much knowledge and background, you will give away your nerdery.
6. Also, this comic book store doesn’t even have Zombies! so what the fuck kind of store is it, anyway.
7. It did have a life size replica of Jack the Pumpkin King larger than you, though.
8. Picking up a Final Fantasy model of Tifa in excitement because you don’t have that one, then snorting loudly and exclaiming “Sixty-nine BUCKS, I could get this on eBay for TWENTY” also attracts unwanted attention.
9. When the boy behind the counter asks if you’ve been playing Marvel vs. Capcom recently, and you give him a strange look and edge away, thinking now you’d heard EVERY nerd pick up line, then proceed to flee from the store, try to remember you’re wearing a Shoryuken Sweatshirt.
10. Voicing your opinions on Michael Moore are not appreciated in that Anti-Flag store with all their trendy nation hating gear.
11. It is never appropriate to blow a whole day’s tips at The Exchange, even if it is to buy the Who’s Tommy and Joseph and That One Dreamcoat. What the fuck is it, Rock Opera Day?
12. When you come home with the Henna, don’t take it out of the box, because the tube will explode and Henna will leak out the back end while you’re trying to break the seal on the front end, then once everything’s finally in order, you remember you can’t draw for shit, and you just end up listening to Pork’s radio show instead of writing hilarious jokes.
Night night.
UpdateSkullzDotOrg, which is up now, reminded me that videos are cool. So, I found this quick video I did in Switzerland. Sorry it’s so shaky, but I was trying to show how amazing the 360 degrees were.
I look stoned, but it’s THE SUN, I TELL YOU.

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