You know what I’m tired of? All these hasty apologies made milliseconds after the career-shattering infraction is uttered/done/snorted.
I’m sure I’m missing some at the beginning of the year, but let’s see.
That one (?) Gay Meth Politician.
Kramer. (I would say Michael Richards, but come on. I don’t think he was close to bawling on Letterman to save his reputation in Weird Al’s hit “UHF.”)
And now Miss USA.
And she got to keep her job! Her apology was accepted by Donald Trump — a guy who would fire you if you sneezed and messed up his comb-over. Now, I’m not going to get into whether underage drinking, drug use, and girl-on-girling Miss Teen USA is a worse offense than saying a bad word on a comedy stage, but I will say that between the two of them, even as a completely heterosexual female, I think the choice is clear as to who America would rather forgive.
But I think this trend is getting a little sad.
I realize that it is a Christian ideal to forgive, but these last few months have proven my worst fear that it’s apparently fine to do whatever you want, as long as you apologize later. Sure, a few of the guys on the list are still jumping through hoops, but, well, Apocalypto just opened in theaters, and I’m sure a lot of people didn’t even know “Seinfeld” Season 7 was being released on DVD, so in Hollywood terms, there really is no such thing as bad publicity.
I’ve struggled with this problem as I’ve gotten older when I realized, wait, I really COULD have sneaked out, drank underage, maybe actually done what teenagers were supposed to do when they are teenagers and my mom WOULDN’T have disowned me and I really WOULDN’T make Baby Jesus cry?
No, I’m glad I didn’t do any of that stuff, and you know what?
I don’t know if I’m going to accept any more of these apologies.
I love Jewish people, I have never homosexually IMed a congressional page, I have never done meth, I love black people, and I have never done coke/drank underage/made out with Miss Teen USA, and LET ME APOLOGIZE IN ADVANCE for saying that, yes, that makes me better person.
And I’m pretty sure all of you reading this can say the same thing. As a matter of fact, I’m pretty sure a good portion of America can say the same thing, which is GOOD FOR US.
This is such a mom thing to say, but I’ll forgive someone when they actually act sorry for what they have done, not just sorry that they were caught and/or posted on TMZ.com.