Apologies all around

I’m an idiot.
I know, I know, I suck, but listen. I’ve had a guest from out of town for about a week, and I’ve been keeping busy trying to entertain all while going to work and being funny.
I actually did write an update a few days ago about the state of children’s television shows, but as I read over it, it’s too unnecissarily bitter, even for me.
So, now it’s left to die in cyberspace. Trust me — it’s for the best.
I believe it had something to do with fucking Elmo.
Sometimes, I almost wish that my Comment Spam Bots would update for me.
Moving along.
I’ve been having the most incredible Christmas season.
I don’t know what it is, but I’ve been getting awesome shows at work and I’ve been feeling really creative (clearly not in the internet-updating sense, but still) and in an un-Lauren-ly good mood.
Which brings me to what I’d like to talk about.
I’ve met a few of you crazy online stalkers in real life, and most of the reactions I get are the same, namely that I’m not as big of a bitch as I seem like, and I’m a lot quieter than it would seem.
People that knew me first and visited my website second even have told me that I lead a double life of two different personas.
I’m never really sure how to take this for a couple reasons.
First, I’d hate to think that I’m really misleading. Like some kind of Lewis Black who stomps around on television shaking his fists, but when you meet him in real life, he chases a ball of string before curling up into a ball and falling asleep.
Second, I’d hate to think that I’m NOT misleading, and my online persona IS my true feelings, and I spend my real life being a bitch in disguise.
Third, it sort of skews my view of reading every website that I do.
When I was 9, I was in a made-for-TV movie starring Christopher Reeve.
It was so weird to be at the catering cart, then walk four feet over to the shooting area, and see all the crew standing around, the director orchestrating everything. For years after that, I couldn’t suspend my disbelief when watching movies. I saw Bill Murray as Bill Murray, not Peter Venkman. It was very sad. Eventually, though, I got over it, and allowed the whimsy of Hollywood to sweep back over me.
But now I wonder if Maddox really is an asshole in real life.
Or maybe dooce is soft-spoken.
Perhaps everyone on livejournal *isn’t* a vapid, shallow waste of life.
It’s something to think about.
Anyway, I’m always eager to hear how I come off, and how I’m different.
If I’m taller, if my cam pics are so ridiculously photoshopped that I don’t even look like me, if I have some crazy northern accent you never thought of. Very interesting.
Okay, back to work.
My guest will be leaving in a few days, so hopefully, back to a normal update schedule. If you’re a super-inter-sleuth, you could probably figure out who it is.
Comic next week? Perhaps. If you’ve all been good little boys and girls.

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