What can I say?
My life isn’t that interesting.
The reason I relish giving you those posts that account for my day minute-by-minute is that there are days like the past month that have been
4 PM — Wake up
10 PM — Go to work
7 AM — Drive home
8 AM — Go to sleep
I’ve been doing comedy, of course, but I’m starting to hate my act, and that’s never a good thing.
I guess I need to get used to saying it over and over in different situations, but I need something MORE. Like better jokes.
I’ve been spending my past few weeks working on a super-secret website and reading Catcher in the Rye. Well, the past few days reading Catcher in the Rye.
It’s not a very hard book, and since I started it, I’ve been using phrases like “depressing as hell” and calling people phonies and flits, and basically urging everyone I’ve ever met to read the book and love it as I do.
My long-term plans include making a sandwich and playing some video games.
If someone doesn’t explode a bomb of Interesting and Exciting on me soon, I fear I may have to move to Iowa and pick lima beans for a living.
Wait a second, that sounds like GREAT fun!
Living in a state that’s 75% vowels! A-And I could challenge myself to like, pick beans of varying shapes and colors, and ooh — I could spend the time trying to find both the smallest and largest lima beans of the day!
And see how many I could fit in my mouth!
And how far I can throw the big ones!
And how far I can throw the small ones!
And which one would win, if I threw the biggest one AT the smallest one!
Oh, man, I’m gonna pack my bags RIGHT NOW!!
What can I say?