Name: Lauren
Nicknames: Kitsune, LC, My Sister (only my brother calls me this), Tweak (only I call myself this. And never outloud), That Really Hot Girl to Whom I Am About To Give These Presents (should be called this by everyone).
Birthday: July 19th, 1980
What the Hell: Does everyone else put in their vitals?
Oh, yeah: I'm not gay.
Not that: There's anything wrong with that.
Books: Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger, Survivor by Chuck Palahniuk, True Story by Bill Maher
Movies: Dumb and Dumber, Billy Madison, Clay Pigeons
TV Series: Family Guy, Monk, Mr. Show, The State
Music: Anything by Danny Elfman, Ben Folds, Self, John Williams, Stephen Sondheim, Stephen Schwartz, and Tim Rice.
Musicals: Wicked, Aida, Chess, Beauty and the Beast, Rent, Godspell
Video Games: Final Fantasy 7, Chrono Cross, Return to Zork
Anime: Video Girl Ai, Love Hina, Trigun
Boy, am I: A loser.
Poor Web Design, reading, watching stand-up, playing video games, cooking anything with the ingredient cheese, traveling alone to distant lands, ninja sword fighting, collecting abandoned children, selling exotic cakes to minors, selling exotic coals to miners, lying to people.
Past: Jazz Dance Teacher, Ballroom Dance Teaching Assistant, School Telephone Switchboard Operator, Country Club Snack Bar Girl, Workman's Comp Insurance Agent (one day), Eat N Park Waitress.
Present: Closed Captioner, Stand-Up Comedian
Future: High-Class Prostitute (?), Ballet Dancer, Fireman, Astronaut, President, Rock Star

Learn more about me in the old version of this page.
Warning: Boring.
What Life Looks Like As a Hot Girl
Um, I mean, I already know? Aw, man. No, I don't.
Hollywood ASST
Don't you love people making fun of the jobs you can't even get? I KNOW I SURE DO.
Do You Speak English?
I actually don't speak English, either.