Best Week Ever

I know there’s something else called that, but I don’t know what that is, and I really did have it.
Let’s recap, shall we?
Last Monday, I had off.
I woke up early and Melissa called me to have lunch with her on the Fox lot.
Fucking shit is right. She even had to call the front gate to let me in!
So full of life, this city!
While I waited for her awkwardly on the lawn while every studio exec and Mover And Shaker walked past me and judged me, I saw a famous lady I couldn’t place.
The next morning it hit me out of the blue that it was Michael’s girlfriend on LOST.
I know! I thought she was dead, too! Turns out it was just another one of Hollywood’s tricks.
Melissa then took me to the Fox Studio Store where the staff had to quickly mop up my drool off of all 7 seasons of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
Now, don’t tell anyone, but I also got to see the set of the WB’s hit new show, Pepper Dennis!
Melissa thought it would be funny to pretend that I mistook the set of an office for her actual office, and when I kept asking her, “So where do you work?” (meaning “Where is the building with your office?”) she kept pretending I meant, “Gee wilikers! This is a purdy office you got here! Why are there pictures of Rebecca Romijn all over? Do you sit here in front of this camera?”
Very funny, Melissa. Very funny.
She then actually did take me to where she worked, and I proceeded to sneak into the writers’ break room, reach for a piece of Orbitz gum, then awkwardly pretend like I was just stretching my back when an actual Writer walked in.
Ooh, then I met a P.A. and he gave me a free “Best In Show” DVD. Score!
I also was introduced to the writer of my favorite LOST episode.
There sure are a lot of LOST people on the Fox lot. I won’t tell ABC, guys.
After I bid Melissa adieu, I proceeded to get really fucking lost on the LA freeways.
I finished off the day by buying some sweet yarn and a webcam and then eating dinner at Islands, a very cool surfing-themed restaurant with delicious cheesy fries.
Also, two people from my past happened to move back/to California this very day! My friends Casey and Julie, both from when I lived in Nashville. Weird? Yes.
Weirder still? They have remained friends with me all this long.
Tuesday sort of sucked because Melissa was just getting over some coldish sickness, and I don’t remember much of that evening except achey bones and a headache.
Called off Wednesday to feel like crap in bed. Bonus: Buffy Marathon!
I also ate some artichoke dip in bed. Not a good idea, especially when you have a cat who sees invisible mice just beyond the plate and pounces in for the kill, only to coat my entire bedspread in a thin sheet of delicious now-inedible dip.
You win this round, cat.
Thursday I dragged myself into work, not feeling much better, but I figured I might as well feel like crap and get stuff done. I think we ate at Panera for dinner, though, which TOTALLY redeems any sickness. They forgot to put Justin’s soup in a bread bowl, so they gave him — I kid you not — soup in a bread LOAF. I’m gonna shoot myself for saying this, but…LUCKY!
Friday, we went to eat at the Olive Garden, and who should our waiter be, but my old friend Andrew from theater camp! Holy cats! What a small world.
Saturday I had to work, which sucked, but afterwards I went sort of crazy and got my hair cut and colored. The girl was so cool and friendly, and I’m very happy with how it looks, even if people look at me weird now.
I didn’t notice at the time how bee-like it looks, but I can see it now.
I swear I didn’t ask for it! I just told her to be funky.
That night I ate with my aunt Becky (of Jordan’s Mother fame) at P.F. Chang’s.
We were told it was a 2-hour wait, and we waited, oh, 5 minutes.
We were also sat at a 4-person booth. I think we made a lot of people angry, but we got them back by making yum-yum noises while eating our lettuce wraps.
Sunday, I saw Eric Estrada at a PetCo. I don’t think you’ve really LIVED in Los Angeles until you’ve seen Eric Estrada at a PetCo.
He was talking very loudly to his daughter about how she can’t feed her dog candy.
We then shared an uncomfortable mutual stare.
Mine said, “Is that George Lopez?”
His said, “What the hell is up with that girl’s hair?”
Then there was a little thing called the Super Bowl.
I kept it real by rooting for the Steelers, and Justin and I went to a packed sports bar to watch the game. When we got in, however, it was oddly quiet except for the game sounds. Also, everyone was signing to each other.
We crashed a hearing-impaired Super Bowl party and had pizza and beer. Awesome.
Today, I had lunch with Melissa again, and it was an equal delight.
Well, she’s no Eric Estrada, but she doesn’t tell me not to feed candy to Scamp, so I’ll keep her around.

The truth comes out

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