You’ve manacled me to my death-bed, you Piccadilly whore!

Well, guys, I don’t like to get too personal on this web-site of mine, but I have to just come out and say it…I’m in love.
Now, I know it sounds cheesy, but the last time I was up with something until 7:00 AM…well, it was two days ago at work, but still.
And I know, I’m a little late to notice how great he is, since he’s been around for a year or so, but I’m often late to jump on things, but boy, am I glad I did.
Folks, the name of my new boyfriend is Knights of the Old Republic, or KOTOR, if you’re a hipster.
Or some space robot.
My beloved brother is home for what will probably be the last summer ever before he’s shipped off to Force the Air in some backwoods town.
He just had to get his wisdom teeth out, and ever a fan of hanging out with people on OxyContin and Percoset as 40% of my previous boyfriends will tell you, I decided to entertain him.
Since his surgery was early in the morning, I was able to come over after work and we both slept a good 9 or so hours, and then were up all night.
He’d been talking about KOTOR, as had just about any person who knows anything, but I didn’t believe the hype, and knowing my penchant for loathing all games including the word “Star” followed by “Wars,” I didn’t have the highest hopes.
Well, hear me now and believe me a year ago, this is the best fucking game I’ve ever played.
It’s as if God mashed up Final Fantasy, rolled it around in some Kings Quest and added a dash of The Longest Journey, and let it simmer until golden-awesome.
The cruelty of life is, however, that my precious saved game is on his dirty, dirty Xbox, and in a week or so, it’s going to commence being thrown up upon by his retarded frat brothers.
Well, I am about to run right out to WalMart and invest much more money than I should in the PC version of this game, and maybe even one of those computer controller deals.
It only took me fucking 17 hours to figure out the buttons on that godforsaken Xbox controller. I’m not about to try and decipher that series of secret codes on my keyboard will make my hot, little Scoundrel draw her Vibro Blade or use her feminine wiles to hit on that delightful Carth Onasi.
I chose to walk the path of the light side, despite urgings from my brother that the Dark have more fun, even though he himself is such an angellic jedi, I have reason to believe his character and Carth Onasi could probably consummate their love only in states like Massachusetts, if you get my drift.
Well, an alternate “Massachusetts” called “Tatooine.”
In “real life” news, I have cut my hair, in a seeming attempt to make myself even more repellant to the opposite sex.
I call this new haircut “No, I don’t have a boyfriend, and it appears as if I don’t plan to have one for another year or so until this grows out.” Or also “I SWEAR I don’t like girls.”
I like it, but the general consensus of people who have to look at me seems to be, “Oh…you…cut your hair. Yeah, it looks…um, I think I left the wood-burning oven on.” And then they run off, and you know what, I don’t think they even HAVE wood-burning ovens.
Wait, a second, you can’t leave wood-burning ovens ON!
No, no, this doesn’t add up at ALL.
Well, back to defending the galaxy.
Hail the Republic!