You’re not so great

So, Felicia stepped on my glasses.
It’s my own fault. I left them on the floor.
Brett always clucked his tongue and shook his finger when I did that, and well, he was right.
My health insurance doesn’t kick in until Thursday, so I’ve been walking around glazed over since about last Tuesday.
It’s weird. I never wear them around the house, since I’m near-sighted, so when it happened, I was like, “Well, this won’t be SO bad.”
But as soon as I hopped in my car, I was like a tiny kitten in a big scary world.
It’s scary. I didn’t think my vision was that bad, and I guess it’s not, but when you’re used to being able to READ the street signs, it’s scary.
Especially since I don’t really know my way around downtown Pittsburgh just yet.
Have you ever had an auto-focus camera, and you’re trying to take a picture of something close up, but the focus keeps shifting back to the background, then back to the foreground, never actually becoming clear.
Yeah. That’s the WORLD. To me.
But, on the lighter side – new glasses Thursday!
I’ve been wanting to go a little thicker.
(“The frames?”
No, the lenses. I think it’d be funny to get glasses that make it HARDER for me to see.)
Not quite emo, but not quite your everyday, run-of-the-mill glasses.
Spunky. That’s me.
Actually, that’s not me.
I’ve been really mopey for the past couple days.
It may not seem like it to anyone who knows me, because I hide it well, but I’ve been having problems sleeping again, which is not good when you have to wake up early.
On the drive to work today I wrote a short film, and it’s just about the saddest thing ever, because it was so easy to write.
I was trying to find these symbols for lonliness and emptiness for the protagonist, and the parallels with my life were just…sad.
I’d like to film it someday, but I probably won’t.
Plus, I need an ending.
You can’t just have a big, long, sad movie and have it end.
It has to be a LITTLE different than real life.
Any suggestions on how a movie about a sad, lonly, empty person would end?
Ooh, ooh, besides a kick-ass fight-to-the-death scene involving a Mexican Stand-Off between Ninjas and Robots.
NINJA: Your move, ace.
ROBOT: Not this time, pal. Not this time.
[ Robot’s arm retracts and grows back out with a laser-guided machine gun. ]
NINJA: You’ll never win, do you hear me? NEVER!
ROBOT: Failure? Does not compute.
NINJA: Compute THIS!
[ Throws a bunch of ninja stars at him. They ping off his chest. ]
PIRATE: Can’t we all just buy Lauren presents?
NINJA: You’re right.
ROBOT: GOOD command or file name.
[ They all high-five. ]

Are they dead?

One of the most distinct things about the horror movie genre, I think, is the fact that when you find one that’s …

I loathe the undead

You know, I look forward to Friday every week, because it means Friday Night Stand-Up on Comedy Central. Because of it, I …

I have a website?

The crowds of women scamper past her as she keeps carefully hidden in the shade. They skip and twirl about, carelessly lifting …

Fuck Matt Bower

Was everybody nice to Felicia? I didn’t warn you that she was going to blog, and then she just did! I got …